Broken...

-Boys dressed like women…broken

-A 7-year old deformed physically and mentally from fetal-alcohol syndrome…broken

-A Burmese Pastor whose pastured his church in secret for 8 years for fear of the government...broken

-Beggars in the Market…broken

-Old white men with young Thai women, clearly purchased for the night...broken

-Small tin, ply-wood, and cardboard houses…broken

-A 5 and 7 year old brother and sister living on the street, stealing to stay alive…broken

-A very poor mother having to give up her two daughters after her young husband died for fear of them being stolen or sold…broken

-An older European man on the beach with three young Thai women on his arm…broken

-Sides of the road littered with rubbish…broken

-A child who saw his Father for the first time in several years…broken

-My heart…broken

I have seen much beauty in the past week and a half in this place, but I have also seen much pain and brokenness. And as much as my mind won’t forget it and my heart hurts for it, I can only imagine how much more my Heavenly Father, their creator and lover of their souls heart continually breaks. My heart and mind is continually asking “why, Lord?” And how can you stand to watch this day in and day out? But I know the answer…it is because he loves. He loves enough to wait for us to come to him, to wait until all have heard, and to continually give us the choice to choose him…after all, he has already chosen each of us. He loves the prostitute, the alcoholic mother, the man-girl, the beggar, the old men, the pimps, and the thief just as much as he loves me. He gave his life for them just as much as he gave his life for me. Lord, use me to tell them about that love.

Beauty…I have also seen much beauty. In the most amazing smile I have ever seen on Joe, a 12 year old boy-the one who was a street kid at age 7. In singing praise and worship songs with Oom, the young girl who used to steal in order to stay alive. In hearing Gomin, the fetal-alcohol syndrome boy, clearly and with understanding far beyond his comprehension say, “I love Jesus because he died for my sins on the cross.” In the loving eyes and arms of Doreen and Mark, Tip-Tip and Nam-Kong who have given their lives to love these children. In the laughter and smiles of women at the SHE House, a home and work place for those who wish to get out of prostitution. In a father playing with his children at the beach. In a mother who loves her children so much that she is willing to give them up so that they have a chance for a better life. In the prayers of children for a pure heart, for boldness and courage, for gentleness to follow those in leadership, and for a soft heart to Jesus love. In the sacrifice of Christ and his followers. And in the natural beauty of this incredible place and its beautiful people. Thank you for sending me here, for being part of the beauty of the body of Christ. I am hungry to learn more, to see more, and to continue to figure out the pieces of the puzzle God created called my life! I pray for an outpouring of the Holy Spirit in this country, for purity of body and mind and a clear picture of hope for the future.

I'm leaving on a jet plane!

In just over 5 hours I will hop in my parents CRV and drive down to LA to get on a plane to Thailand. Weird. I have been so eagerly awaiting this day for so long. And now it is here and it seems a bit surreal. My luggage is packed-was ready by 10:30pm--that has to be a record for me! I only have two, rather small, pieces of luggage. I am feeling quite impressed about that! It is a weird thing, packing up your life into suitcases, leaving your parents house which isn't home, but is closer than anything else you've got, boarding a plane with a descent idea of what is going on, but still lots of unknowns, leaving people I love, going to meet people I know I will soon love. I am left thinking that it has to be the call of the Lord or why else would we do things like this? And that is comforting. I gotta be honest, I've questioned myself the last few days...really Lord? There? For 8 months? I'm scared. I don't want to go alone. What if I don't make any friends? What if the food is weird? I'll miss family and friends. And then I am reminded of those family and friends that I love so dearly and I know that they will all be in heaven with me one day and I can't not go...because there are so many that don't know, whose family and friends will be suffering eternally with them. People whose lives are less than abundant and purposeful. I am filled with such abundance and such purpose. And so I go. Not in fear or anxiety or sadness, but in confidence, excitement and joy. I am so excited and honored to be a part of the kingdom work of the Father in this part of the world. And to know that he is at work in me as well. So, I am off. I ask for your prayers for protection, peace, confidence, boldness, comfort, simplicity, and love. My hearts greatest desire is to overflow so deeply with the love of Christ Jesus. I am ready to fall in love with SE Asians, their people, their land, their smells, their food, and the hope that they have for a Savior. Thank you for all your love and support and for joining me on this journey! The Lord has already been an abundant and gracious provider and I have seen his hand mightly at work. To his glory and for his renown! Much love. Kovonne