At The Cross

At The Cross
“At the cross….sweetly broken, wholly surrendered.” This song captures much of my heart for the past few weeks. We have been brought again and again to the cross. And with each return, I am brought to deeper brokenness but with that, deeper surrender. Last week our teacher explained it as having heart surgery. And that is quite often what I feel like is going on. God is taking my old heart of stone, and replacing it with a new heart of love…his heart of love. And, like surgery, it is at times very painful. But, with the successful surgery, comes new life! And literally a new ability to breathe, run, jump, play, worship and love life! That is what I feel has been happening to me in the five weeks that I have been here. There have been many tears shed on the floor of the water house (our classroom—it is literally a room out in the middle of the pond!), but with each one the Lord has continually told me, sometimes in a whisper, other times a shout, “You are mine, I see you, there is nothing I condemn you for, and I love you!” At times it has been very painful to see my true self, the things I hold onto and try to put on the throne with God…my desires, my hopes and dreams, my reputation. Salvation is free. Becoming a disciple of Jesus Christ costs everything! EVERYTHING! Am I willing to give everything to follow this God? Do I know what that costs? Is this God really worth it? This past week we spent the entire week learning the answer…YES! This God that asks for everything from me gives me himself in return! A God that is infinite, all powerful, all knowing, all present, is all good, all loving, all forgiving, all faithful, all just, all merciful, all gracious, all kind, all Holy, a God that is Father, King, Lord, Savior, Counselor, and Friend desires to give me his very self! That is his original plan—to be in relationship with me, his beloved. God’s plan to send his son wasn’t just to save me from sin, it was to save me back into the very original plan that he had for his creation—to be in relationship with it. That is the very purpose he created—for relationship. He doesn’t want to just be partially my friend, sometimes my Savior, or my Lord on the weekends, He desires a perfect, full relationship! That is good news!!
And so I knelt at the cross, asking for forgiveness for the things I keep taking off the alter and trying to put on HIS throne. We took off our shoes in an act of declaring ourselves slaves to the gospel. And I committed to go—to go where ever it is that this good news has not gone. After all, there are so many in the world that have no opportunity to hear this good news, have no opportunity to stand before the cross, and have never been invited into a relationship with the very creator of their souls. I stand at the cross again and I count the cost and say, “I’m all in!” I am all in for you are God and you are so worth it! The cost may be great, but nothing in comparison to the cost you paid to ransom my soul, and nothing compared to the cost of people, people that I am coming to know and love not knowing their God, and nothing in comparison to the reward of knowing my Jesus intimately! And each time I humble myself, surrender, and go before the cross, Christ meets me there in deeper surrender, deeper intimacy, and a deeper passion. And that is what it is all about…continuing to go deeper and deeper into the heart of God—a God that longs for nothing more than to share his heart with us! Now that is good news!!